User talk:ForgotMyUsername
Re: Sand Dune Incident It's actually received quite a bit of criticism: "Okay? Not sure what this was supposed to be?", "Doesn't seem finished and feels like there should be more and what's up with the picture of a stalker.", and "Bland". After reading those multiple comments, I looked into the story and decided that they were right. The fact it's been up for a few years and these issues haven't really been amended was the deal breaker and resulted in its deletion. Overly complex sentences: "When I was patrolling with a buddy one Monday morning, we decided to follow a trail because it was just the one set of footprints, which was unusual, and because it looked like whoever it was hadn’t got back yet even though the weekend was over." Try reading that aloud to see the issue. That should be broken into two easier-to-read sentences. Hyphens missing from compound words: "post mortem" Story issues: the protagonist works at the park, why are the police giving him details of the crime like the cause of death and forensic information. Police don't typically share this information with civilians or park rangers (while not specified what their job is, I can only assume they are a ranger of some sort.) especially when they consider the people in question are suspects. ("My buddy and I were suspects of course") The picture included seems off (especially since the monster is never described and is in fact suspected as being human) Finally the story has a very lackluster ending to the build-up. You describe the exactitudes of the crime and then it ends. All in all, I have to agree with the criticism the story's received. On a final note: as you've changed your account, I'm blocking your old account as it is against Terms of Use to have multiple accounts. Be warned, this is actually against our site rules and can result in a month long ban if you continue creating new accounts. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:31, January 11, 2016 (UTC) :Very kind of you to take the time to answer, and congratulations on your work to keep quality high. My old account was blocked immediately after I made it, because an admin thought I was someone else (I didn't really understand); one also can't appeal a block, because of being blocked. It's a bit of a catch 22. :Anyway, thanks again for your comments. :ForgotMyUsername (talk) 20:37, January 11, 2016 (UTC) ::Actually, your old account was blocked for: "Intimidating behavior/Harassment/Wikidrama: blanking talk page and replacing it with harrassing material" for a week after which you came back and posted content. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 20:41, January 11, 2016 (UTC) :Indeed! I'd forgotten I came back again; but of course, I could always find my username by going to my story. I deliberately used a name I don't go by anywhere else because I don't want this to be mixed with my published work, which is in a different genre. ::I blanked Cleric of Madness's post on my user page because it nowhere mentioned that he's the King of the Site. With no indication that it was an Admin post, I found it offensive, and reasoned it was my user page to do what I like with. Yes, it was a silly, impolite thing to do, but it was not what it was taken to be: a deliberate attack on the father of the site; rather, it was a stupid move by someone who had just joined up and not developed an ear for site culture or a knowledge of celebrity figures. There are ways of modifying people's conduct other than blocking them, particularly when it's a new user rather than a pattern of behaviour. ::Mind, I'm not denying that I broke the rules. It's just that perhaps a more gentle attitude might encourage more users to join and participate, which can only be a good thing for the site. ::ForgotMyUsername (talk) 20:53, January 11, 2016 (UTC)